Four Plays by John Osborne

Author:John Osborne [John Osborne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-78319-233-5
Publisher: OBERON BOOKS Ltd
Published: 2000-11-05T16:00:00+00:00

Scene 3

The Sitting Room. Early morning. ISOBEL is lying on a sofa with LEONARD’s head in her lap. They are both fully dressed, very sleepy and contented almost to the point of smugness. WAIN comes in with a breakfast tray and sets it down before them. He coughs.

ISOBEL: Oh, thank you, Wain. I’m starving.

LEONARD: So am I.

ISOBEL: After all that exercise. Talk about Olympic Games.

LEONARD: Well, you’re certainly the Muhammad Ali of the century. You are the greatest, man.

ISOBEL: And you’re the greatest, man.

(They kiss.)

LEONARD: Not very good at it! You’re the World Cup winner.

ISOBEL: Can’t get it up! Down more likely. Down, Fido!

LEONARD: Well, Fido is a bit sore this morning, I must admit.

ISOBEL: I’m surprised he’s still there. What about me\

My vision’s pretty sore round its edges.

LEONARD: Darling. You are a vision.

ISOBEL: So are you. Let’s eat before we slope off.

(REGINE enters)

REGINE: Oh, good morning, you two. Up already.

Sleep well?

ISOBEL: Not a wink.

LEONARD: Not one.

ISOBEL: Marvellous.

LEONARD: Magnificent.

ISOBEL: Super, comfy bed, Regine.

REGINE: Well, I’m glad it was such a success. You both look as if you’ve had a – vision.

ISOBEL: We have.

LEONARD: The two of us.

ISOBEL: A flash only –

LEONARD: But such a flash…

ISOBEL: Of the journey.

LEONARD: We don’t know where we’re going.

ISOBEL: And we never shall.

LEONARD: But we’ve started the journey.

ISOBEL: Together.

LEONARD: Like Paul and Barnabas.

ISOBEL: Perhaps we should re-name ourselves.

LEONARD: You be Paul –

ISOBEL: And you be Barnabas.

LEONARD: Morning, Paul.

ISOBEL: Howdy, Barnabas.

(They kiss.)

LEONARD: Had any good visions lately?

ISOBEL: Ecstatic.

LEONARD: So have I.

ISOBEL: But I’m a bit new to this missioning and journeys.

LEONARD: Me too. But we’ll pick it up.

ISOBEL: We have picked it up.

REGINE: You two are very odd. Don’t tell me you’ve –

ISOBEL: Fallen in love?

LEONARD: Utterly.

REGINE: You are mad. Perhaps the country air doesn’t agree with you. That champagne was all right, wasn’t it, Wain?

WAIN: Yes, m’lady.

REGINE: Have all the others breakfasted?

WAIN: They’re all down.

REGINE: Good.

WAIN: Or gone.

REGINE: Gone? Who?

WAIN: The gentlemen, m’lady.

REGINE: But who? Why?

WAIN: Mr Nates and Mr Bigley left in Mr Bigley’s helicopter. They said to say: Thanks for all the wild entertainment. And they’d ‘see you around’. Mr West said he’d not enjoyed himself so much for years. He’d ring you from Fleet Street. He went back to ‘file some copy’ in his office. Mr Black had to go to a preview in the provinces somewhere. He said to thank you for all the fun and he’d be getting to you about backing his new show. Mr Stewkes apologised but said he had to go to his constituency surgery and also prepare a speech for the House next week about blackmail and vice in the country. Mr Deel’s group arrived in a van to take him to a gig in Newcastle. He told me to tell you he’d had a great, funky time. Mr Withers left in his car. He said he had to ‘get to the bank as soon as it opened’. He told me to tell you. Mr Stan had given him a letter of authorisation.

REGINE: Letter of authorisation! My God, they’ll have opened it already.

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